Sunday, 27 November 2016

Alive Museum Singapore

First time in a "trickeye" museum! Haha, better than my (low) expectations but I think it's because we got student price in the end + there was zero crowd so we had the whole place to ourselves yay! Lesson learnt: always ask for student price :> At least I can check this off my (non-existent) list of things to do in Singapore hoho.

If you notice a difference in quality & contrast in the pictures, it's because two cameras were used (EPL 7 vs. EPL5). Not sure if its the cameras or camera settings but mannn my EPL5 photos look quite dull. And it's always been like this. Think I need to figure it out soon, or like after I make this post hehe.

After Alive, we wanted to go bowling at Marina Square but turns out it is closed HAHA!! But luckily there is always karaoke - went for the most expensive karoke session ever ($35 for 3 hours) but it was probably the most fun experience hehe! When you put a group of dancers into a karaoke room, you get a mini club WHOOHOO! It's awesome when the songs aren't sad Chinese love songs on repeat but like Pump It by BEP and Yeah X3 by CB HAHA!

Hole made in my pocket, and a very very deep one, but wouldn't have spent that Friday night any other way!! 

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

High Functioning Anxiety
1. For every decision I make, there is a battle raging in my head.
Decisions and commitments are my worst nightmare. Every time I get asked to hang out with a friend, or go out to dinner with a family, or show up for a school function, my mind immediately starts listing pros and cons. And let me assure you, it always manages to come up with far more cons. Most of the time, when I do commit to something, it’s out of obligation or fear of being left out.
4. When I ask for help, it means I really need it.
I have a hard time asking for help. And not because I’m cocky or think I’m too good for it, but because I’m afraid of showing you the real me. Too many times, I’ve let my guard down with someone, shown them how needy I really am, and they’ve left. So I don’t do that anymore. I’ve learned to “suck it up,” as they say, and figure it out on my own. Asking for help is really a last-resort type of deal for me. Which means if I do ask for help about anything, I really need you to help me. Or else next time, I’ll drown before reaching out to someone.
6. When you pull away from me, I think I’ve scared you away.
I know, it’s kinda hypocritical, right? I tell you to give me space and that just because I pull away doesn’t mean I’m mad, and then I turn around and think the same thing about you. But I just can’t help it. Every message that isn’t responded to, every sarcastic reply to something I say, every time you cancel plans we had, I can’t help thinking you are fed up with me and my clinginess. Like maybe I showed you a little too much and you couldn’t handle it. It scares me. And then I get even more clingy, asking if you’re mad at me, or if I did something wrong. Please don’t take it personally. It’s the self-doubt talking. The more comfortable I get with you, the less it’ll happen.
7. The person on the outside is not usually the person on the inside.
The person you see on the outside has it together. Straight-A student, involved in multiple activities, always busy, completes every project on time and to a perfectionist standard. And you probably think, “Man, she has her life together. She really knows how to get stuff done.” What you don’t realize is I have to be this way. I literally cannot sit still. If I do, the thoughts and nervous energy will choke me.
Relaxation is hard, because doing nothing invites what I call “the void.” It invites staring off into space, losing track of time, feeling too much all at once. So it’s much easier just to keep busy, so I don’t even have time to think about anything except what’s next on my to-do list. I’m this way because it keeps me from falling apart, not because I’m put together.

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